Saturday, July 09, 2005
Toxic-an portion ito
~*~

For a reason I cannot put my finger onto, I get tired and bored easily. I would whine repeatedly when the room is so hot, which is no longer new to me since it is my 3rd year in PLM. I've gotten used to the haggard-look we all 'sported' when we use the GK Third floor classrooms. Hay... Plus, I'd be super lazy after a class that I won't even entertain the urge to pee because I just don't feel like standing and walking. I guess I'm having problems with my attention span and I really wouldn't like that because I'm in third year now. I can't just talk to a seatmate, answer a crossword puzzle and read horoscopes from Inquirer Libre whenever I find someone talking as not-so-interesting in the middle of a class. I can't do that anymore as bigger responsibilities lay ahead.

There's also this task I've been assigned to do that almost made me cry out of despair. I've been looking for it since Monday but to no avail. We are to submit it yesterday and I've just completed the written report at 3am, Friday morning! To add up to that, I have a class in MCN-2 at 7am and I woke up at 5:30am because I was so sleepy I couldn't open my eyes even if I want to. Just imagine that, for 6 agonizing hours, I have to fight the urge to sleep out of fear that my professor might see me. I was already closing my eyes as they felt heavy. I'd fall asleep easily if I just stare at something, say for 10 secs. That was really awful.

After the 6-hour class in MCN-2, we have to hang around for 3 more hours for our Pharmacology class. I want to sleep but there's no perfect place for my siesta. To kill time, we played 'Killer-killer' with our new blockmates. It was a game from our elementary years, if I remember it right and there we were, playing it again. It was amusing if you would ask me because one has to look around carefully so as to keep the game rolling. I hate being the police or doctor because of the responsibilities they have in the game. As the police, you have to arrest the killer so the killings would stop. As the doctor, you have to help those who were killed by reviving them. Just look at that. It was fun, really.

I feel like I'm not in the mood to study this semester. My colds won't go away and it has been with me since June 25. Grrr... I'm having a hard time breathing because of it and I've been creating and tending to my worries since... darn, I really don't know.

Just reading this post will take you nowhere. It is just a reflection of how tired and confused I am.

To make things worse, I miss the gang so much. Ava, Gene and I don't get to see them often. We only see each other on Wednesdays for a couple of minutes since their class ends at 10am while we have to spent the rest of the day in PLM. I feel so sad, really. It's a good thing Bien still remembers to call me, at least I get the chance to be updated with the latest. AH!!! I MISS THEM BADLY! :(

I think I won't enjoy this semester AGAIN. The only thing that keeps me going as of now is the fact that I'm sitting next to my friends and I'd be thinking that, 'Hey, things won't be that bad'.

Here's more. To add up to the loneliness, despair, boredom and stress I am currently nursing, my idiotic half is sending me signs of her surfacing again. Now, I am trying my best not to show it. I miss him, too, of course. We talk to each other if time permits it and that makes me happy a bit.

I guess I need a break. A break in the middle of the semester.

Sa totoo lang, hindi na dapat bago sa 'kin 'to, pero ewan ko...

I MISS THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH!

~*~

s0c wrote at 12:26 PM // 1 comment(s)

Monday, July 04, 2005
And you call that a hospital?!
~*~

Today, we were asked by our clinical instructors to go to the Gat Andres Memorial Hospital in Tondo for the orientation. I don't have an idea of where it is, which somehow makes me feel that I am still my usual self. Anyway...

When Ava and I reached the place, we were surprised with what we saw. I wasn't expecting a hospital to be in that kind of location. The pungent odor is unbelievable as it smelled of garbage and even rotten eggs! How can patients get well in this kind of environment?

As we entered the hospital, Ava and I agreed that this is better than the Ospital ng Maynila. As we made our way to the 6th floor where the orientation will take place, we began to see for ourselves the many flaws of the hospital. It looked like an abandoned place to me since I didn't get to see many people. Where are the nurses? Where are the doctors that one usually sees in a hospital? It didn't look like a hospital at all.

When the orientation began, our class was surprised with what we have heard. The hospital was built in 1998 but it looked older than that. It is also a tertiary hospital and I heard myself saying, 'Talaga?'. It is a free hospital and usually caters to those who live in Tondo.

Here's more. The reason why we don't get to see nurses is that they only have a few nurses since most of them decided to go abroad. As for the doctors (if I remember the story right), the hospital has 4 of them but because of the increased demand for nurses abroad, some of them went back to school to earn a degree in Nursing and went abroad. Presently, they are still blessed because ONE decided to stay. That means the doctor is in charge of everything. Imagine that.

I felt bad after the orientation because of what I've heard. And everyone still calls it a hospital. I'm surprised that it can still cater to its patients' needs despite the situation. What will happen if the remaining doctor decides to go, too?

This has got me thinking that if majority of the Nursing graduates will all go abroad, what is left for the Philippines? The number of doctors in our country is fast depleting too as they opt to go to back to school and work as a nurse in another country.

As for me, I still don't have a concrete plan of what I want to do after college but I am trying to look into myself and check my values and the things I prioritize. I will continue doing this introspection so that hopefully, I will be able to answer this question myself.

O, seryoso na naman :)

~*~

s0c wrote at 3:20 PM // 0 comment(s)

Monday, June 27, 2005
Change is good
~*~

Two days had passed since that exceptionally lovely day and it is only now that I was able to write my thoughts about it. You see, I was sick (and still is, I guess) since Saturday afternoon. I was at the middle of one of the most awaited ceremony of my college years -the Capping and Candle Lighting Ceremony- when I had this fever due to my darn cold. Nonetheless, I managed to get through it without fainting (I was on the verge, I know).

That ceremony is worth the time I lost from my vacation. Like the genius Zandra, I wasn't able to watch some of the episodes of my favorite animes as well. It wasn't solemn, if you would ask me, but that would be fine with me. We were being scolded in front of our parents by Ma'am Cleto and I find it funny. There were instances where we acted like we didn't know what to do, as if it wasn't coordinated to us days before. I thought that ceremony would be a fiasco but it didn't turn out like that, thank God. All of us were very excited to have our caps (for the girls) and pins (for the boys) and that was the most awaited part of the whole event. We clapped our hands and cheered for our friends as they were called. It was just, well, inspiring in a way. Having your cap is like having an inspiration to go on with what you are doing, no matter how hard it is.

I enjoyed the whole ceremony and all those students who cried as they were approaching their parents was truly something to behold. For reasons I don't know, I didn't even have the slightest urge to shed a tear. Not that I'm saying that it's ridiculous to cry. Just wondering...

I can't recall the exact emotion I was experiencing at that time. Sure, I got bored of the hour-long speech by the University President (but I enjoyed listening to some of it) and got irritated because of the long wait. Wala lang..

When the ceremony ended, my friends and I met so we could have our pictures taken. I loved that one since we all looked, well, DIFFERENT, as if we're ready to take on greater responsibilities ;)

That ends this nonsense post. Thanks much for the time you spent for this one.

Cheers.

~*~

s0c wrote at 8:25 PM // 0 comment(s)

Sunday, June 12, 2005
A mentally-challenged caller
~*~

I was alone at home for 2 hours and I did nothing worthwhile during that time. I started to read again a part of one of my favorite books (The Naked face by Sidney Sheldon). It's actually about a psychoanalyst who got into trouble because of a patient. The whole house was quiet, and the only thing I can hear is the sound of the clock's second hand and my own breathing. As I was carefully reading my favorite lines, the darn phone suddenly rang and I almost dropped the book from my hand. My heart was pounding hard on my chest.

Anyway, I answered it at that instant. The voice from the other line sounded silly and I thought he's just one of my good friends. I mentioned names and even told the caller to stop the annoying act. He knew we had a caller ID and even told me that I should be able to guess who he is. I told him that it doesn't have any batteries at the moment and even called me (or was it the caller ID?) stupid. He then aborted our conversation all of a sudden. I was slightly confused since the call has got me thinking who that person is. The prank caller called again and carried out his 'mission': to freak me out and annoy me. I admit I got a bit scared since I was alone. Plus, to make things better, my ever-creative imagination worked all of a sudden and my paranoiac tendencies surfaced out. Great. My imagination is enough to scare the hell out of me.

There's nothing so remarkable about it, really. Maybe I'm just over-reacting but the person knows a lot about me and I still don't have an idea of the caller's identity. So much for that.

Anyhow, that doesn't matter.

~*~

s0c wrote at 11:12 PM // 0 comment(s)

Saturday, June 11, 2005
Darn migraine
~*~

Man, my vacation will be over soon! Anyway, I really didn't experience this year the luxury of having a summer vacation because of the various preparations we have to attend to just so we can have a solemn and unforgettable Capping and Candle Lighting Ceremony. Oh well.

More importantly, I've been experiencing eye-watering migraines the past few days. It started with my vision getting blurry. F'course, I wouldn't think of anything serious at first. I thought I just needed to get some sleep. You see, it has become my habit to stay up late to watch TV or just do anything with the computer. But then, my head always hurts late in the afternoon. It hurts so much that I'd like to throw up. To alleviate the pain, I take analgesics so I could go on with the things I have to do.

Two nights ago, I had a terrible migraine. I felt awful that I couldn't even get up. What I just did was to ask my sister to fetch me a glass of water and an analgesic so I could go to back to sleeping. Man, I felt like I'm dying that night. I even told her that I might not be able to wake up the following day and she gave me the sweetest answer she could afford -- 'Stop acting stupid.' So I was just acting stupid...

I also had a migraine attack last night but it was manageable than the former. Sure, the migraine attack was all that I need to pysch myself up for the first semester. I just hope it would be cooperative by not making me feel nauseous at times when I have to concentrate.

Cheerio.

~*~

s0c wrote at 3:19 PM // 0 comment(s)

Saturday, June 04, 2005
Some things never change
~*~

Some things never change, really. There's this person who seems to think she has a grasp of everything that is happening around her. She refuses to listen to any explanations for she believes that what she has in mind is the 'absolute truth'. I think I am a very patient person but the patience of a saint is what I don't have.

I'm just like any other person, why can't she see that? I can show the world how upset I am anytime when I feel like exploding. I can't contain all these emotions within me.

Can we all please grow up??? Man, we're on the verge of becoming adults now. Can we stop acting like overgrown adolescents, please?! It really gets on my nerves whenever this happens. You see, I suddenly become impatient when something's that should be really changed yonks ago still dwell on the present.

Dang!

~*~

s0c wrote at 3:50 PM // 0 comment(s)

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
.Crushy.
~*~

~*~

s0c wrote at 4:18 PM // 1 comment(s)

::. ABOUT THE BLOGGER .::

Name: Soc
Age: 18
     Soc aspires to become a nurse and is currently on a 'struggle for existence'. She prefers cats over dogs and is overly fascinated with Japanese animations. A believer of the paranormal, she thinks the universe will be a big waste if humans were the only ones around. She also has hypochondriachal tendencies.

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